Children of Divorce
Divorce poses significant consequences for all children.
Depending upon the child’s age, coping skills and other factors, the reactions vary.
However, when the normal adjustment to divorce is interrupted by high conflict patterns,
children pay the highest price; with their childhood.
Parents are in a powerful position to influence their child’s
long term recovery. They have the power to minimize the damage of parental
conflict on their child. Thankfully, there are parents who would shield their
children if they know how to alter their own behaviors. Ultimately, parents
must learn to disengage, improve their communication, work towards a new co-parenting
relationship, and become pro active in reducing their child’s stress.
Research shows that many factors determine a child’s reactions
to divorce. Some are inherent and cannot be altered, such as the child’s age,
gender and temperament at the time of the divorce. Other factors however can
be controlled and there control is held in the hands of the child’s parents.
A program called “Changes” has been developed for
children who have parents going through divorce.
Changes: Question & Answers for
Children
This program provides three separate curriculums for age
groups 5-8, 9-12 and 13-over. Changes can be completed in either a
four hour seminar or offered in one hour classes over a four week period.
Changes seeks to provide reassurance while helping children identify and
express their feelings in a safe environment. Through interactive activities
such as games, role lay and projects, the Changes program seeks to provide
age appropriate answers to common questions. Sample questions that are answered
in the Changes program include:
- What is a divorce?
- How will my parents act?
- Where will I live?
- What will change and what will remain
the same?
- Can I make my parents get back together?
- Can I love both my parents?
- Sample teen questions include:
- How can I keep from being caught
in the middle?
- How will I handle embarrassing moments
now that my parents are single?
- How will my parent’s divorce affect
my choices?
- How much do I want to know or how
much do I need to know?